This is the point where he decided that he was no longer goin' to take the hurt, the baggage, the SECRETS, with him to his grave.
I know that sounds like a rather miniscule decision to make. However, you need to keep in mind that he's been tellin' HIMSELF. . No, he's been convincin' HIMSELF that he was never gonna tell another soul what had happened to him that day. Not after the Boogie Ma'am told him "If it happened to you, you must've wanted it." Followed immediately by "If it happened to you, then you deserved it." And ultimately followed by "If you tell anyone, I'll make it hell for you all!"
Imagine bein' a preteen child, with this threat hangin' over your head. Especially keepin' in mind that he held himself accountable for his siblings, as well.
I still haven't gone into detail. I honestly wasn't ready. To tell as much as I did in TAPPED took every ounce of courage that I could muster up to put on paper. Then, to send to the Publisher. Then NOT TO pussy out, 'n remove it from the book before the final edit. Trust me when I say that I was on the fence the entire time.
What ultimately forced me to keep it in the book?
The person whom I almost dedicated the book to said to another family member "I hope he's puttin' his skeletons in there, for the world to see."
--- rome: "Say less!"
How do you define irony?
I define it as;
The same Motherfucker that I just spoke of above had to balls, after readin' the book, to ask my closest family member "How many times?"
How many times?
HOW MANY TIMES!?
Are you fuckin' kiddin' me, right now??
How many times would one of your infant family member's have to be assaulted, by another family member, before it was acceptable, in YOUR eyes, to speak upon it - you non empathetic piece of shit!?
I've also been told that your fake ass accused me of makin' it up. Who the fuck makes up somethin' as traumatizin'. .as life changin'. .as mind numbin'. .as suicide inducin'. .as that?
Ain't nobody got time for people like that in their lives.
When I tell you that I poured my EVERYTHIN' into this book - my blood, sweat 'n tears into this book - my TRUTHS! - Best believe.