Words cannot express how thankful I am towards everyone that has bought a book. This experience has been life changing, in so many ways, and I have all of you to thank for it.
"Tapped" was a labor of love, that stemmed from anger. All of my life I'd carried this mental burden that I had no idea how I'd ever relinquish myself of.. or if that was even possible, at this point in my life. All I knew was, I was hurting. No, I was killing myself (mentally). The more I'd dwell on situations that occurred in my past, the more sick I felt throughout my entire body. The pressures of carrying around all of the traumultuos memories was eating me alive. I just had no idea. I mean.. I'm physically fit. I'm coherently capable. I'm not addicted to anything of the likes of alcohol nor drugs. Yet, I'm constantly fatigued. One minute I'm feeling perfectly fine, but the next minute..
The next minute I don't know whether to cry, scream, or lash out in a nonconstructive manner. And this is when I'm able to control my emotions. Otherwise, I'm engaged in a full blown panic attack. A panic attack the likes that I can't determine whether I'm just feeling nauseus, or if I'm about to have an actual heartattack. It gets THAT bad, at times. Thankfully, I've developed a system to gauge the severity of an attack. There have only been three occasions where I've landed in the hospital over an attack. The first time was prior to writing this book. As I've explained in several interviews, a Dr suggested that I find a way to relinquish my mind of everything that was bothering me (and in doing so, causing this type of anxiety). This is where I decided that I was going to write my "Poetic Memoir".
My second trip to the E.R. came on 'Cinco de Mayo'.. A trip to the Red Sox game, with the fella's, after week's of mentally challenging myself to remember EVERYTHING that was tormenting my brain. Yes, in the midst of writing this book I stressed myself out so much that I had THE WORST anxiety attack of my life, to date. Page 204
"Writin' the contents
of this book almost
killed me. . . "---rome
The third trip landed me a four day/three night stay, after the book was fully written. A constant pain down my neck that ran into my chest was all that I needed to get myself checked out once more. This time an abnormal EKG, coupled with high blood pressure, got me nine meals, several needles, & a lengthy sprint on a treadmill. When I say that I put myself through it, in order to share this AMAZING piece of art with you.. I mean that isht wholeheartedly. And I'd do it all over again to feel the sense of freedom that I've been feeling ever since the first copy of Tapped was sold.
"Closure" - Thank you for giving that to me.